For your guide dog

Interesting to note that the desert has been a little stroppy of late. Not sure if it’s the increase number of iPhone in the region or just things have genuinely escalated to full scale chaos. But it has to be said the sand people are troubled bunch. I put it down to always having dust in the eyes, it will drive you bonkers there’s no doubt. Ever since the world hiding go seek champ was the victim of a brutal home invasion at the hand of the infidel, there certainly has been a lack of law and order and community spirit in the dunes. I wonder if Osama bin Hiding was in actual fact the glue that kept the camel together. In a land where your Hilux comes direct from the factory with a machine gun mounted on the tray anything is possible.

You’ve got to feel for Barry Crump though, no longer being the face synonymous with the world’s greatest Ute. He had a good run. Maybe he could turn his attentions to showing the world police how to drive those fucken Black Hawks. They should have called the movie 20 Black Hawks down, or maybe just Wood duck down. Weird how the fight for the holy land has proven to be the war of all wars, when both the bible and the Koran speak of peace and neighbourly love. Also weird how spell check wants a capital K for Koran but not a capital B for bible. I wonder if we took religion off the planet for a week there would be nothing to fight about. Ha, then it would be planet of the apes.

The China man must be laughing his little titties off watching and waiting for Jesus and Aladdin to break each other’s knee caps. Or at least go completely broke in the process. Thank god Buddha was a mellow yellow fellow because two billion pairs of hands makes light work ... of beating the puss out of someone. It’s always bugged me how the whale eaters gave China the mighty Ginsu in WWII though. If you looked at a map the smart money would have to be on the big guy. Something else bugs me in that neck of the woods to, and that is the consumption of hound. Man’s best friend shud not cooked. I don’t mind dolphin though it’s very good on the spit.

A little sea pig anyone? yum yum.

Brad Pit has retired. How could you ever get tired of riding that race horse of his. She’s an international 10 fosho. I hope Angie doesn’t serve up puppy to any of those little blighters. That would have been the biggest decision that collectively mankind has ever made … Jennifer or Angelina.

Strangely similar to Jesus or Aladdin. Ah the irony